Toltec Agreement No. 2: Whatever happens, do not take it personal!
"Just by applying this second agreement," said Don Miguel, "you begin to break dozens of smaller agreements that make you suffer."
Do not take things personally: it is indeed out to others the power given to him to judge us, criticize us, to harm us. It stop attaching importance to the opinions of others, not spend more energy defending an ideal image of themselves against criticism or to try to feed her with compliments.
In practice, however, take whatever happens to us personally is the norm. The slightest remark offends us, irritate us or saddens us. And we can realize that while understanding the relevance of this second agreement Toltec, many have difficulty in applying it. Indeed, it is difficult to apply for an injunction "Do ... not ":" OK, I am not a personal matter, but then ... I'm what? Doe's an idiot (e) or incompetent (e), insults or humiliates me: how to react other than personally? .
A first key is to change center of gravity in the relationship. Instead of taking care of me, of what they say about me, how others behave towards me, I'm looking for another, what his attitude and his words say about him and not from me, as I hear it talking to me about him from me? An opinion that has relevance based on the perspective from which it emits. Courteline This was highlighted with humor: " Get treated like an idiot by a moron is a gourmet delight of . I would add "to be treated by incompetent incompetent is a nice icing on the cake ... . For whoever calls me pathetic or especially since no one tells me of how proud he considers me up. Why give weight to an opinion, if the point of view from which it emanates does not seem fair, not reliable?
Children, said Don Miguel, is through the eyes of parents and adults that we formed an image of ourselves, we have learned (or thought to learn) who we were, "you're ugly" , "you are zero (the) ',' you're too slow (e)", etc.. We accepted these judgments, believing the viewpoint of reliable adults. These qualifiers have had an impact on us because we gave our consent to what we were saying about us.
Adult, became aware of the limitations and relativity of points of view of those who have labeled it our responsibility to break the agreements that limit us and make us dependent on the opinions of others. Similarly, it behooves us to conclude the agreement not to accept, taking them personally, opinions and judgments of others that most often reflect the biased view of those who issue them. An important agreement
broken to stop taking things personally, is one of believing (as explained above, this comes from our childhood) than others know us better us. In reality, no one in our head or our heart in our body: no one knows better than me what is happening inside me, what moves me, why I get up in the morning, what are my intentions my ideals, my fears, etc..
But beware, do not take things personally does not mean not taking them at all! Any return to the caller saying, is your point of view, this is your problem is your vision of things, etc.., Leads to retreat into a bubble where there is more exchanges with others. The gaze of others upon us is never uninteresting: it has something to teach us, that either on themselves or on the other (by the reactions it triggers in us, in particular).
Thus, its own calibration, it is not fluctuating in the opinion of others that we must seek, but in itself, preferably by establishing it from the stable benchmarks provided by the great spiritual principles of truth and wisdom ...
Good job!
rewritten text from an article by Olivier Clerc. To read a small book that can teach you great things: The Four Agreements Toltec , Don Miguel Ruiz Paperback Editions Jouvence; € 6.50.
"Just by applying this second agreement," said Don Miguel, "you begin to break dozens of smaller agreements that make you suffer."
Do not take things personally: it is indeed out to others the power given to him to judge us, criticize us, to harm us. It stop attaching importance to the opinions of others, not spend more energy defending an ideal image of themselves against criticism or to try to feed her with compliments.
In practice, however, take whatever happens to us personally is the norm. The slightest remark offends us, irritate us or saddens us. And we can realize that while understanding the relevance of this second agreement Toltec, many have difficulty in applying it. Indeed, it is difficult to apply for an injunction "Do ... not ":" OK, I am not a personal matter, but then ... I'm what? Doe's an idiot (e) or incompetent (e), insults or humiliates me: how to react other than personally? .
A first key is to change center of gravity in the relationship. Instead of taking care of me, of what they say about me, how others behave towards me, I'm looking for another, what his attitude and his words say about him and not from me, as I hear it talking to me about him from me? An opinion that has relevance based on the perspective from which it emits. Courteline This was highlighted with humor: " Get treated like an idiot by a moron is a gourmet delight of . I would add "to be treated by incompetent incompetent is a nice icing on the cake ... . For whoever calls me pathetic or especially since no one tells me of how proud he considers me up. Why give weight to an opinion, if the point of view from which it emanates does not seem fair, not reliable?
Children, said Don Miguel, is through the eyes of parents and adults that we formed an image of ourselves, we have learned (or thought to learn) who we were, "you're ugly" , "you are zero (the) ',' you're too slow (e)", etc.. We accepted these judgments, believing the viewpoint of reliable adults. These qualifiers have had an impact on us because we gave our consent to what we were saying about us.
Adult, became aware of the limitations and relativity of points of view of those who have labeled it our responsibility to break the agreements that limit us and make us dependent on the opinions of others. Similarly, it behooves us to conclude the agreement not to accept, taking them personally, opinions and judgments of others that most often reflect the biased view of those who issue them. An important agreement
broken to stop taking things personally, is one of believing (as explained above, this comes from our childhood) than others know us better us. In reality, no one in our head or our heart in our body: no one knows better than me what is happening inside me, what moves me, why I get up in the morning, what are my intentions my ideals, my fears, etc..
But beware, do not take things personally does not mean not taking them at all! Any return to the caller saying, is your point of view, this is your problem is your vision of things, etc.., Leads to retreat into a bubble where there is more exchanges with others. The gaze of others upon us is never uninteresting: it has something to teach us, that either on themselves or on the other (by the reactions it triggers in us, in particular).
Thus, its own calibration, it is not fluctuating in the opinion of others that we must seek, but in itself, preferably by establishing it from the stable benchmarks provided by the great spiritual principles of truth and wisdom ...
Good job!
rewritten text from an article by Olivier Clerc. To read a small book that can teach you great things: The Four Agreements Toltec , Don Miguel Ruiz Paperback Editions Jouvence; € 6.50.
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